Lagu
06-14-2006, 02:11 PM
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing
and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later
her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country
she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had
to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans
was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she
figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed
three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably >sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see
her and exclaimed delightedly,” Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his
wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold
until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure
was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the
room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the
conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she
fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap
and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and
she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were
twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing
and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later
her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country
she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had
to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans
was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she
figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed
three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably >sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see
her and exclaimed delightedly,” Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his
wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold
until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure
was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the
room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the
conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she
fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap
and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and
she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were
twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!