gatekeeper53
01-25-2007, 12:35 PM
Why Athletes shouldn't have day jobs ...and they make the
big bucks!
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role
model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I
wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the
upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever
comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say: "I'd run
over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the
Raiders said: "To win,I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach,
John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,
1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a
guy like Norman Einstein."
6 . Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it
takes." (now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys
line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups
of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to
prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
prison for three years, not Princeton ."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when
I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training
regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six
o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous
atpractice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm
going to b e an uncle or an aunt."
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I
told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He
said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting
what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks
to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when
asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-
bye."
big bucks!
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role
model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I
wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the
upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever
comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say: "I'd run
over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the
Raiders said: "To win,I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach,
John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,
1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a
guy like Norman Einstein."
6 . Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it
takes." (now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys
line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups
of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to
prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
prison for three years, not Princeton ."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when
I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training
regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six
o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous
atpractice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm
going to b e an uncle or an aunt."
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I
told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He
said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting
what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks
to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when
asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-
bye."