Robert P. Herbst
09-01-2007, 12:39 PM
THE BELL TOWER
Written October 27, 2004 Fiction 1256 Words.
Copyright ©2004 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved
By
Robert P. Herbst
Morning has arrived here in the Bell Tower of the Last Baptist Church of Mount Perry, Florida. The time had come, on this bright and cheery Easter Sunday morning, for me to ring the bells in the church tower located immediately above my cell. The ringing of the huge bells would summons the faithful from near and far to services on this day. Unfortunately, the ringing of the huge bells, has made me quite deaf. My name is Yodar Hoopelhoffer, and I’m the hunch backed bell ringer for this church.
Outside the door to my cell there is a bowl with my usual gruel of boiled grains and oats for my breakfast. Having only one eye, I can’t really tell what the stuff looks like, but the stuff in the bowl isn’t moving and it smells okay so, down the hatch. Never did figure out what the things with hair on them were, but they were sure hard to catch, even when mired in the gruel.
Now I’m off to my job, ringing the bells. The sun is just poking up over the land at the foot of our beloved Mount Perry and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. A perfect Easter Sunday Morning here in the town of Mount Perry, Florida.
Once in the tower, the huge bells hung there in silence. Being a bit on the deaf side, how would I know if they weren’t silent? The age old conundrum about the tree falling in the woods comes to mind.
Anyhow, it was my job to ring these bells in the precise order given me by the head minister of the church. I re-read the instructions one more time to be sure I got it right in my mind before I started. Not being able to read, didn’t exactly help.
Even so, Easter Sunday was not the day to ring the bells in the wrong order. The various church members get a bit testy if the bells weren’t rung in their proper order, they would push me into the corner and whip me again if I got sequence wrong.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I sensed a commotion in the square below. A comely young lady was about to be punished for some minor infraction of the law, probably alligator poaching. This was a common enough crime, but mostly reserved for men of great power. This comely lass couldn’t begin to wrestle a fourteen foot long alligator out of a sink hole, even if there were two of her.
Anyhow the poor little thing had been stripped to the waist and forced into the pillory for the execution of her punishment. Being a man of kind and outgoing heart, this bothered me greatly. This was the same young girl who had given me water when I had been taken by a mob and beaten half to death. Fortunately the Minister of this church had rescued me and given me the sanctuary of his church.
I just couldn’t stand by and let this happen. I would rescue the maiden and take her to my bell tower, – besides, she was already half naked. All I’d need was a few fleas and some flea powder. Once infested she’d be all mine. I’d infest her with my fleas and withhold the flea powder pending a suitable trade off. I may only have one eye, be deaf and hunchbacked, but I’m not stupid.
Grabbing one end of a long rope, I climbed to the top of the railing around the bell tower and leapt forward into the air, just like some avenging caped crusader of old. As I flew toward the maiden, I yelled at the top of my voice, “I’m coming for you fair maiden, fear not!”
I was almost to the platform where stood the pillory, when I happened to glance back over my shoulder. Much to my horror I found the other end of my rope wasn’t tied to anything. Figuring there was no way I could go back at this point, I rigged for impact.
With the evil punishment officers flying in every direction, I grabbed the fair maiden, yanked her free of the pillory screaming, “SANCTUARY!” Then I bounded from the broken platform and ran toward the open doors of the church. All the time screaming, “SANCTUARY” over and over again
As I ran I could just barely hear my rescued lady’s expression of gratitude as she whispered into my deafened ear, “NEXT TIME STUPID, when you yank someone out of a pillory, be sure you unlock and open the darn thing first.”
At the doors of the church I screamed, “SANCTUARY!” one more time before I slammed and bolted the heavy oaken doors of the church. I then raced for the protection of my bell tower with my prize dangling over my shoulder.
Once in my bell tower I stood on the top rail of the safety railing and screamed, “SANCTUARY!” one last time. For the first time in my whole miserable life, I was happy. I had actually done something good for someone and I now had a companion to live out my life with, although, on closer inspection, she wasn’t quite as comely as she had appeared to be from a distance and through my one good eye.
“What the heck.” I thought, “Beauty was only skin deep and I’m surely no beauty myself.”
Tipsy with glee I began ringing the bells in the bell tower. They were huge massive things and as I rang them in just the right order, the bell tower trembled under my feet from the vibration. What a day this was, everything I’d ever wanted was right here in my bell tower.
As I rang the bells, I noticed a large crowd gathering in front of the church. Could it be they were coming here to take my prize away and punish me for interfering with their punishment of my lady fair? They seemed angry, waving their hands in the air and saying something I couldn’t hear. This would never do.
As I continued ringing the bells, the crowd got larger and began moving toward the front door of the church. They had stripped the large pole from the pillory and were preparing to use it as a battering ram on the front door of the church.
Paranoia took over, they were coming to get me and take my half naked lady away for themselves. I frantically searched the bell tower for a weapon.
There were many large stones left over from a building project. I began throwing them out of the tower into the crowd below. As the stones crashed into the crowd they became enraged and pushed even harder against the front doors of the church.
Then I saw some cauldrons of molten lead the roofers had left behind, and I poured these over the side of the bell tower along with the stones. This did little to calm the angry mob.
Suddenly I was aware of the church minister standing behind me with a big note in his hands. I stopped to read the note. It said, “YOU FOOL! It’s Easter Sunday and those people are coming here to worship.”
I immediately crouched in my corner, knowing I was about to get a rather sound pummeling about the head and shoulders, as I thought to myself, “OOPS!”
Written October 27, 2004 Fiction 1256 Words.
Copyright ©2004 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved
By
Robert P. Herbst
Morning has arrived here in the Bell Tower of the Last Baptist Church of Mount Perry, Florida. The time had come, on this bright and cheery Easter Sunday morning, for me to ring the bells in the church tower located immediately above my cell. The ringing of the huge bells would summons the faithful from near and far to services on this day. Unfortunately, the ringing of the huge bells, has made me quite deaf. My name is Yodar Hoopelhoffer, and I’m the hunch backed bell ringer for this church.
Outside the door to my cell there is a bowl with my usual gruel of boiled grains and oats for my breakfast. Having only one eye, I can’t really tell what the stuff looks like, but the stuff in the bowl isn’t moving and it smells okay so, down the hatch. Never did figure out what the things with hair on them were, but they were sure hard to catch, even when mired in the gruel.
Now I’m off to my job, ringing the bells. The sun is just poking up over the land at the foot of our beloved Mount Perry and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. A perfect Easter Sunday Morning here in the town of Mount Perry, Florida.
Once in the tower, the huge bells hung there in silence. Being a bit on the deaf side, how would I know if they weren’t silent? The age old conundrum about the tree falling in the woods comes to mind.
Anyhow, it was my job to ring these bells in the precise order given me by the head minister of the church. I re-read the instructions one more time to be sure I got it right in my mind before I started. Not being able to read, didn’t exactly help.
Even so, Easter Sunday was not the day to ring the bells in the wrong order. The various church members get a bit testy if the bells weren’t rung in their proper order, they would push me into the corner and whip me again if I got sequence wrong.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I sensed a commotion in the square below. A comely young lady was about to be punished for some minor infraction of the law, probably alligator poaching. This was a common enough crime, but mostly reserved for men of great power. This comely lass couldn’t begin to wrestle a fourteen foot long alligator out of a sink hole, even if there were two of her.
Anyhow the poor little thing had been stripped to the waist and forced into the pillory for the execution of her punishment. Being a man of kind and outgoing heart, this bothered me greatly. This was the same young girl who had given me water when I had been taken by a mob and beaten half to death. Fortunately the Minister of this church had rescued me and given me the sanctuary of his church.
I just couldn’t stand by and let this happen. I would rescue the maiden and take her to my bell tower, – besides, she was already half naked. All I’d need was a few fleas and some flea powder. Once infested she’d be all mine. I’d infest her with my fleas and withhold the flea powder pending a suitable trade off. I may only have one eye, be deaf and hunchbacked, but I’m not stupid.
Grabbing one end of a long rope, I climbed to the top of the railing around the bell tower and leapt forward into the air, just like some avenging caped crusader of old. As I flew toward the maiden, I yelled at the top of my voice, “I’m coming for you fair maiden, fear not!”
I was almost to the platform where stood the pillory, when I happened to glance back over my shoulder. Much to my horror I found the other end of my rope wasn’t tied to anything. Figuring there was no way I could go back at this point, I rigged for impact.
With the evil punishment officers flying in every direction, I grabbed the fair maiden, yanked her free of the pillory screaming, “SANCTUARY!” Then I bounded from the broken platform and ran toward the open doors of the church. All the time screaming, “SANCTUARY” over and over again
As I ran I could just barely hear my rescued lady’s expression of gratitude as she whispered into my deafened ear, “NEXT TIME STUPID, when you yank someone out of a pillory, be sure you unlock and open the darn thing first.”
At the doors of the church I screamed, “SANCTUARY!” one more time before I slammed and bolted the heavy oaken doors of the church. I then raced for the protection of my bell tower with my prize dangling over my shoulder.
Once in my bell tower I stood on the top rail of the safety railing and screamed, “SANCTUARY!” one last time. For the first time in my whole miserable life, I was happy. I had actually done something good for someone and I now had a companion to live out my life with, although, on closer inspection, she wasn’t quite as comely as she had appeared to be from a distance and through my one good eye.
“What the heck.” I thought, “Beauty was only skin deep and I’m surely no beauty myself.”
Tipsy with glee I began ringing the bells in the bell tower. They were huge massive things and as I rang them in just the right order, the bell tower trembled under my feet from the vibration. What a day this was, everything I’d ever wanted was right here in my bell tower.
As I rang the bells, I noticed a large crowd gathering in front of the church. Could it be they were coming here to take my prize away and punish me for interfering with their punishment of my lady fair? They seemed angry, waving their hands in the air and saying something I couldn’t hear. This would never do.
As I continued ringing the bells, the crowd got larger and began moving toward the front door of the church. They had stripped the large pole from the pillory and were preparing to use it as a battering ram on the front door of the church.
Paranoia took over, they were coming to get me and take my half naked lady away for themselves. I frantically searched the bell tower for a weapon.
There were many large stones left over from a building project. I began throwing them out of the tower into the crowd below. As the stones crashed into the crowd they became enraged and pushed even harder against the front doors of the church.
Then I saw some cauldrons of molten lead the roofers had left behind, and I poured these over the side of the bell tower along with the stones. This did little to calm the angry mob.
Suddenly I was aware of the church minister standing behind me with a big note in his hands. I stopped to read the note. It said, “YOU FOOL! It’s Easter Sunday and those people are coming here to worship.”
I immediately crouched in my corner, knowing I was about to get a rather sound pummeling about the head and shoulders, as I thought to myself, “OOPS!”