Robert P. Herbst
04-27-2008, 03:43 PM
GENETICS GONE WILD
Written March 24, 2008 Fiction 1160 Words
Copyright © 2005 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved.
by
Robert P. Herbst
As the gang began to assemble in the front of my little store, here in the very center of Beautiful Downtown Mount Perry, Florida, for their morning coffee, one face was absent. Yodar Hoopelhoffer had yet to arrive. As time moved on, his absence was duly noted by everyone. One could be fairly certain of both the time and weather, but Yodar showing up for a free cup of coffee and to mingle with this little group of friends was absolutely certain.
Time dragged on by, we all became more and more concerned for our friend’s well being, this just wasn’t like Yodar. We all missed his smile and friendly chatter. Although Yodar was known as the Mount Perry Town Idiot, we all liked his easy going mannerism and friendly, if somewhat misguided, advice.
About noon, Yodar arrived at the shop all smiles and eager to tell me why he’d missed the morning gathering at the shop. He explained, he’d been visiting with Doctor Gene Splicer, our local world famous, all around expert on Genetic Manipulation and Gene Splicing to create Genetic Mutations.
Yodar had been griping about the high cost of gasoline and how just the trip to my shop for free coffee was becoming a burden. Doctor Splicer had gotten rather tired of his constant complaining and had offered to build Yodar some sort of creature he could ride and would be cheap to feed.
Dr. Splicer, was a great and accomplished Geneticist and was quite capable of doing something like this, if he put his mind to the project. Yodar was a decent sort and on many occasions had cleaned Dr. Splicers Laboratory after a failed experiments. In one such case an experiment had freed itself and had to be destroyed before the thing disappeared out into the swamps, like the Crokagator did, or was the thing an Allidile.
The Crokagator/Allidile or whatever, was the failed effort by Doctors Gene Splicer and the renown World Famous Surgeon, Doctor Hesa Hacksitoff to splice the front half of an alligator to the back half of a crocodile.
The lights had gone out during the operation, but our famous Doctor Hacksitoff, was not deterred by this adversity, he continued operating in the pitch blackness of his unlit operating room. Dr. Splicer was holding the parts together as the stitching was going on, but due to the slippery conditions, lost his hold several times during the operation.
Once again Yodar was there, unpaid as always, to assist, but in the darkness he had handed the doctor the wrong half of each of the subject reptiles. As the operation was concluded, the lights suddenly came back on and, momentarily blinded, the trio.
Unlike their first effort, this time each creature did get a front and back half. However the anesthetic had worn off and as the lights came back on and the startled subjects bolted for the door. Now, somewhere out in the surrounding swamps, there is an Crokagator and an Allidile, cavorting about.
In the first experiment the lights had also gone out and the good doctors had grafted both front ends together and both tails together, resulting in two reptiles which didn’t know if they were coming or going.
One of these days, we need to place some sort of guidelines on the work of our resident experts. Now, Dr. Splicer was at work again in his secret laboratory deep in the swamps around Mount Perry, creating some sort of creature for Yodar to ride, so he could save on Gasoline.
As Yodar explained the idea to me, the basic creature would be hatched from a chicken egg which had been genetically altered after fertilization with the proteins which unlocked various genetic characteristics, such as growth limitations, the strength of the legs and several other features about which the good doctor wasn’t exactly sure what they controlled.
Yodar was as happy as a little kid in a sand box when the egg hatched and a cute little yellow baby chicken like thing popped out. As Yodar went on, he told me this chicken indeed ate anything you put in front of it and it was growing rapidly. There were certain features Yodar was just a bit concerned about, why did this chicken have such a long tail and why did it need such sharp teeth?
A few days later, Yodar arrived again for coffee and he had a long leash with a rather strange looking bird like creature on the end. Immediately on entering the shop the thing began consuming anything even resembling food. It took two of us to hold the creature away from my inventory of rubber bands. Naturally I had to tell my friend, if he could not control his pet, the thing would have to be kept outside.
Time passed and each day Yodar came to have his coffee with us bragging about how his pet was growing and about the saddle he was making so he could ride on his pet. We were all happy for our friend and even brought in small snacks to feed to Yodar’s critter. However, I suspect they did this because it was cheaper than hauling the stuff to the dump. In truth, this thing did eat just about anything you put in front of it.
Within a few months, Yodar was indeed riding his pet around in the City of Mount Perry where he was showing off for the crowds which gathered around him every time he showed up. However, there seemed to be a down side to all this. The creature liked Yodar, because Yodar had taken such good care of it, but strangers were not so lucky. The local people quickly learned to stand back at a respectful distance, tourists were not so well educated as to the reach of this creature with the long prehensile neck.
Another developing problem was parking. What do you do with a twenty foot long critter when you go inside a store to buy something. You can’t bring it in with you, you need to park it somewhere. This means, parking meters to feed. Another developing problem was the creatures long tail. At rest, the tail lay about in the street. If a car happened to run over the tail, the creature, probably not in the best of humor, would snap a part of the offending car off and eat it.
The long sharp teeth developing in the creatures jaws would snap off the part cleanly as any metal cutter might do. In some cases, part of the unfortunate and careless driver were also taken with the metal parts. The creature was quickly becoming a menace. However, as Dr. Splicer was quick to point out, riding the creature around town, was sure cheaper than putting gasoline in the thing.
Written March 24, 2008 Fiction 1160 Words
Copyright © 2005 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved.
by
Robert P. Herbst
As the gang began to assemble in the front of my little store, here in the very center of Beautiful Downtown Mount Perry, Florida, for their morning coffee, one face was absent. Yodar Hoopelhoffer had yet to arrive. As time moved on, his absence was duly noted by everyone. One could be fairly certain of both the time and weather, but Yodar showing up for a free cup of coffee and to mingle with this little group of friends was absolutely certain.
Time dragged on by, we all became more and more concerned for our friend’s well being, this just wasn’t like Yodar. We all missed his smile and friendly chatter. Although Yodar was known as the Mount Perry Town Idiot, we all liked his easy going mannerism and friendly, if somewhat misguided, advice.
About noon, Yodar arrived at the shop all smiles and eager to tell me why he’d missed the morning gathering at the shop. He explained, he’d been visiting with Doctor Gene Splicer, our local world famous, all around expert on Genetic Manipulation and Gene Splicing to create Genetic Mutations.
Yodar had been griping about the high cost of gasoline and how just the trip to my shop for free coffee was becoming a burden. Doctor Splicer had gotten rather tired of his constant complaining and had offered to build Yodar some sort of creature he could ride and would be cheap to feed.
Dr. Splicer, was a great and accomplished Geneticist and was quite capable of doing something like this, if he put his mind to the project. Yodar was a decent sort and on many occasions had cleaned Dr. Splicers Laboratory after a failed experiments. In one such case an experiment had freed itself and had to be destroyed before the thing disappeared out into the swamps, like the Crokagator did, or was the thing an Allidile.
The Crokagator/Allidile or whatever, was the failed effort by Doctors Gene Splicer and the renown World Famous Surgeon, Doctor Hesa Hacksitoff to splice the front half of an alligator to the back half of a crocodile.
The lights had gone out during the operation, but our famous Doctor Hacksitoff, was not deterred by this adversity, he continued operating in the pitch blackness of his unlit operating room. Dr. Splicer was holding the parts together as the stitching was going on, but due to the slippery conditions, lost his hold several times during the operation.
Once again Yodar was there, unpaid as always, to assist, but in the darkness he had handed the doctor the wrong half of each of the subject reptiles. As the operation was concluded, the lights suddenly came back on and, momentarily blinded, the trio.
Unlike their first effort, this time each creature did get a front and back half. However the anesthetic had worn off and as the lights came back on and the startled subjects bolted for the door. Now, somewhere out in the surrounding swamps, there is an Crokagator and an Allidile, cavorting about.
In the first experiment the lights had also gone out and the good doctors had grafted both front ends together and both tails together, resulting in two reptiles which didn’t know if they were coming or going.
One of these days, we need to place some sort of guidelines on the work of our resident experts. Now, Dr. Splicer was at work again in his secret laboratory deep in the swamps around Mount Perry, creating some sort of creature for Yodar to ride, so he could save on Gasoline.
As Yodar explained the idea to me, the basic creature would be hatched from a chicken egg which had been genetically altered after fertilization with the proteins which unlocked various genetic characteristics, such as growth limitations, the strength of the legs and several other features about which the good doctor wasn’t exactly sure what they controlled.
Yodar was as happy as a little kid in a sand box when the egg hatched and a cute little yellow baby chicken like thing popped out. As Yodar went on, he told me this chicken indeed ate anything you put in front of it and it was growing rapidly. There were certain features Yodar was just a bit concerned about, why did this chicken have such a long tail and why did it need such sharp teeth?
A few days later, Yodar arrived again for coffee and he had a long leash with a rather strange looking bird like creature on the end. Immediately on entering the shop the thing began consuming anything even resembling food. It took two of us to hold the creature away from my inventory of rubber bands. Naturally I had to tell my friend, if he could not control his pet, the thing would have to be kept outside.
Time passed and each day Yodar came to have his coffee with us bragging about how his pet was growing and about the saddle he was making so he could ride on his pet. We were all happy for our friend and even brought in small snacks to feed to Yodar’s critter. However, I suspect they did this because it was cheaper than hauling the stuff to the dump. In truth, this thing did eat just about anything you put in front of it.
Within a few months, Yodar was indeed riding his pet around in the City of Mount Perry where he was showing off for the crowds which gathered around him every time he showed up. However, there seemed to be a down side to all this. The creature liked Yodar, because Yodar had taken such good care of it, but strangers were not so lucky. The local people quickly learned to stand back at a respectful distance, tourists were not so well educated as to the reach of this creature with the long prehensile neck.
Another developing problem was parking. What do you do with a twenty foot long critter when you go inside a store to buy something. You can’t bring it in with you, you need to park it somewhere. This means, parking meters to feed. Another developing problem was the creatures long tail. At rest, the tail lay about in the street. If a car happened to run over the tail, the creature, probably not in the best of humor, would snap a part of the offending car off and eat it.
The long sharp teeth developing in the creatures jaws would snap off the part cleanly as any metal cutter might do. In some cases, part of the unfortunate and careless driver were also taken with the metal parts. The creature was quickly becoming a menace. However, as Dr. Splicer was quick to point out, riding the creature around town, was sure cheaper than putting gasoline in the thing.