Robert P. Herbst
04-27-2008, 03:44 PM
FOAM
Written April 18, 2008 Fiction 1046 Words
Copyright © 2005 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved.
by
Robert P. Herbst
Granted, a little foam is something we can all deal with. There is the foam created while washing dishes or the family car, but foam on a truly gigantic scale is not only impressive but can be a bit intimidating. Especially if you are the one who caused it, like mistakenly putting a cup of hand dish washing detergent into your electric dish washer. This is truly an impressive sight.
As you all know, I’ve had the outside of my building, here in the very center of, Beautiful Downtown Mount Perry, Florida, completely renovated. The cement had washed out from between the bricks and there was little left holding the building together but some antique sand.
Although the brick is nice to look at, with all those white cement seams, few realize the old cement was little more than quick lime and sand. After a few hundred rain storms, the lime leaches out of the cement, leaving only the sand to hold the bricks in place.
My dear building and home had reached the point where the wind could blow rain right through thirteen inches of brick. It was time to hire a contractor to completely renovate the outside of my building. This was no easy task as the Mount Perry Building Inspector was a loud mouthed bully who intimidated all the local contractors.
I found a local man willing to take the job on at a price I could afford, he was also able to deal with the building inspector, and I put him to work. This took some doing as the inspector was not only a loud mouthed bully, but as stupid as a human can be and not be called an ape.
First the entire building was pressure washed with detergent and bleach to kill and remove loose material so the new stuff would stick to the old bricks. It took almost a week to clean the entire building. To reach the second floor where my two bedroom flat is located, A huge machine with a long prehensile boom and a basket on the end was rented.
It was an interesting machine as the basket was wide enough for two, but hardly suitable for taking your date for a ride. The operator controlled the entire machine from the basket. It was funny to see him guiding this beastly looking thing down the street from his perch, 45 feet from the ground. The boom was fully articulated and could move the basket in any direction including up , over and down behind obstructions. All this was done without a ground crew.
Next a heavy coat of cement was smeared over the outside of the whole building. The intent was to fill the holes and cracks between the bricks, but the building was in such bad shape, there was little left between the bricks, so a mortar mix was simply smeared, under force, over the bricks. This effectively filled the holes and seams between the bricks and protected the remaining cement.
Next some sort of bonding material was sprayed on over the mortar covered bricks. This material served to stick the sealing compound to the bricks and mortar. It was a light yellow color and, although I’m quite color blind, I was happy to see it go away. However, it already looked better than all those loose bricks had looked.
Now a spray of some sort of pure white sealer was sprayed over the entire outside of the building. This is not only hard to look at in the bright Florida sun, but it made the building look like a giant sugar cube, with windows in it, laying on it’s side. The trip around the windows and doors is a different color, but my color blindness prevented me from seeing the difference.
I’d had the tin roof sealed with a similar substance some weeks before, and during the first rain storm I got the shock of my life as giant sheets of foam emerged form the roof’s down spout and ran across the sidewalk into the gutter. Horrified by what I was looking at, I quickly called the contractor and told him all the stuff he’s just sprayed on the roof was washing off.
He explained to me, this was only the detergent used in the making of the paint, washing off the surface and it would not happen again. However, my mind began to conjure images of a mega gigantic sheet of foam washing off my whole building during the next rain storm and starting to spreading out over the entire town of Mount Perry.
Picture if you will, the sky is dark with storm clouds, the thunder booms in the distance and lightning flashes across the sky. The rain is falling by the bucket full and washing the detergent off the sides of my building. The rain splashing in the detergent causes the detergent to foam and rise like twenty pounds of warm bread dough in a two pound bucket.
As the storm grows closer, the thunder booms louder, there are more lightning flashes and the rain comes down even harder. About this time, Florida storms usually turn loose the wind. The foam, now billowing to monestrous heights begins to move before the wind, slowly and inexorably, swallowing our beloved town under a blanket of detergent suds.
I can see all this from my second story window and I know there will be a time when I will be made to answer for all this, never mind the contractor who will stand there, with an angelic look on his face, pointing at me as he says, “He paid me to do it.”
I can just see the mobs of people marching toward my building, with their torches held high, chanting slogans demanding my slow and tortured death.
The deed is done and I wait, with great feelings of dread, for the next dark cloudy day, when the weather forecast is for rain. Between now and then, I need to find a place, preferably out of town, to visit for a few weeks. Anyone out there want a house guest for a week or so?
Written April 18, 2008 Fiction 1046 Words
Copyright © 2005 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved.
by
Robert P. Herbst
Granted, a little foam is something we can all deal with. There is the foam created while washing dishes or the family car, but foam on a truly gigantic scale is not only impressive but can be a bit intimidating. Especially if you are the one who caused it, like mistakenly putting a cup of hand dish washing detergent into your electric dish washer. This is truly an impressive sight.
As you all know, I’ve had the outside of my building, here in the very center of, Beautiful Downtown Mount Perry, Florida, completely renovated. The cement had washed out from between the bricks and there was little left holding the building together but some antique sand.
Although the brick is nice to look at, with all those white cement seams, few realize the old cement was little more than quick lime and sand. After a few hundred rain storms, the lime leaches out of the cement, leaving only the sand to hold the bricks in place.
My dear building and home had reached the point where the wind could blow rain right through thirteen inches of brick. It was time to hire a contractor to completely renovate the outside of my building. This was no easy task as the Mount Perry Building Inspector was a loud mouthed bully who intimidated all the local contractors.
I found a local man willing to take the job on at a price I could afford, he was also able to deal with the building inspector, and I put him to work. This took some doing as the inspector was not only a loud mouthed bully, but as stupid as a human can be and not be called an ape.
First the entire building was pressure washed with detergent and bleach to kill and remove loose material so the new stuff would stick to the old bricks. It took almost a week to clean the entire building. To reach the second floor where my two bedroom flat is located, A huge machine with a long prehensile boom and a basket on the end was rented.
It was an interesting machine as the basket was wide enough for two, but hardly suitable for taking your date for a ride. The operator controlled the entire machine from the basket. It was funny to see him guiding this beastly looking thing down the street from his perch, 45 feet from the ground. The boom was fully articulated and could move the basket in any direction including up , over and down behind obstructions. All this was done without a ground crew.
Next a heavy coat of cement was smeared over the outside of the whole building. The intent was to fill the holes and cracks between the bricks, but the building was in such bad shape, there was little left between the bricks, so a mortar mix was simply smeared, under force, over the bricks. This effectively filled the holes and seams between the bricks and protected the remaining cement.
Next some sort of bonding material was sprayed on over the mortar covered bricks. This material served to stick the sealing compound to the bricks and mortar. It was a light yellow color and, although I’m quite color blind, I was happy to see it go away. However, it already looked better than all those loose bricks had looked.
Now a spray of some sort of pure white sealer was sprayed over the entire outside of the building. This is not only hard to look at in the bright Florida sun, but it made the building look like a giant sugar cube, with windows in it, laying on it’s side. The trip around the windows and doors is a different color, but my color blindness prevented me from seeing the difference.
I’d had the tin roof sealed with a similar substance some weeks before, and during the first rain storm I got the shock of my life as giant sheets of foam emerged form the roof’s down spout and ran across the sidewalk into the gutter. Horrified by what I was looking at, I quickly called the contractor and told him all the stuff he’s just sprayed on the roof was washing off.
He explained to me, this was only the detergent used in the making of the paint, washing off the surface and it would not happen again. However, my mind began to conjure images of a mega gigantic sheet of foam washing off my whole building during the next rain storm and starting to spreading out over the entire town of Mount Perry.
Picture if you will, the sky is dark with storm clouds, the thunder booms in the distance and lightning flashes across the sky. The rain is falling by the bucket full and washing the detergent off the sides of my building. The rain splashing in the detergent causes the detergent to foam and rise like twenty pounds of warm bread dough in a two pound bucket.
As the storm grows closer, the thunder booms louder, there are more lightning flashes and the rain comes down even harder. About this time, Florida storms usually turn loose the wind. The foam, now billowing to monestrous heights begins to move before the wind, slowly and inexorably, swallowing our beloved town under a blanket of detergent suds.
I can see all this from my second story window and I know there will be a time when I will be made to answer for all this, never mind the contractor who will stand there, with an angelic look on his face, pointing at me as he says, “He paid me to do it.”
I can just see the mobs of people marching toward my building, with their torches held high, chanting slogans demanding my slow and tortured death.
The deed is done and I wait, with great feelings of dread, for the next dark cloudy day, when the weather forecast is for rain. Between now and then, I need to find a place, preferably out of town, to visit for a few weeks. Anyone out there want a house guest for a week or so?