Dirk Broer
08-03-2012, 02:54 PM
Mostly very derogative and invented by people who drive other cars, sometimes by owners of the car themselves,
these are by no means my personal opinions about the various car brands!
ACURA:
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment;
All Customers Undergo Repair Anxiety;
Americans/Australians Can Underestimate Routine Accidents;
Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym;
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile;
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles;
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America;
Awful, Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile;
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents.
ALFA:
Aging Latin ****wit's Ambulance.
ALFA ROMEO:
All Loosely Fitted Accessories Remain On Motorway Enraging Others.
AMC:
A Man's Car
A Major Cost
A Miss Conception
A Morons Car
A Mutated Car
All Makes Combined
All Most Car
All Muscle Car
Annoying Mechanics Constantly
Another Major Catastrophe
Automotive Mental Cruelty
ASTON MARTIN:
A Silly Toy Of Neurotic Middle Aged Rich Tossers Investing Needlessly;
Anglophiles Seek To Own, Now Many Are Really Trashy, I Notice.
AUDI:
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence;
Again Underestimating Deutsche Intelligence;
Aging, Unfulfilled Dentists' Investment;
All Unnecessary Devices Installed;
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence;
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented;
Always Useful Deutsche Investment;
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention;
Another Useless Deutsche Invention;
Attention: User Doesn't Indicate!;
Automobile Under Demonic Influence;
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BENTLEY:
British Excess Needs To Leave Everywhere, Yesterday
BMW:
Babbling Mechanical Wench;
Babe Magnet Wannabe/Wisher;
Bayrische Manure Wagon;
Bastard Money Wielders;
Beastly Monstrous Wonder;
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels;
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder;
Big Money Waste/Waster/Works;
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck;
Born Moderately Wealthy;
Bought My Wife;
Bowel Movement Wagon;
Break My Windows;
Brings Me Women;
Broke My Wallet;
Broken Money Waster;
Broken Monstrous Wonder;
Brutal Money Waster;
Bubbling Mechanical Wonder;
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch.
BUGATTI:
"Bangin' Underground Gangsta Attitude" Trumps Techy Image
BOW TIE:
Big, Over-Weight, Tired, Impotent Engines
BUICK:
Bearing Unimpressive I4s, Current as Kennedy;
Big, Ugly Import Car Killer;
Big, Ugly Indestructible Car Killer;
Big, Underpowered, Impressing China Keenly;
Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean.
CADILLAC:
Can American Designers Invent Lovely Lines? Apparently, Can't;
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars.
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips;
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips;
Cheap Heaps: Expect Very Routine Owner Letdowns, Excessive Trouble;
Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time.
CAMARO:
Can't America Make A Real One?
Can A Mechanic Actually Repair One??
Chevrolet Assembled Mustang And Repaired Often
Could Always Manufacture And Recall Often
CHEVY:
Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet.
CHRYSLER:
Can Hear Revs, Yet Sense Little Engine Reaction;
Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement;
Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs;
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair;
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
CITROEN:
Crap Interior, Terrible Road-holding, Owned Entirely by Nutters
DATSUN:
Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips.
DODGE:
Dad's Old Dead Garage Experiment;
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter;
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere;
Don't Over Drive Gutless Engines.
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere.
EDSEL:
Even Dad Says Edsel's Lame;
Every Day Something Else Leaks;
Every Day Some Engineer Laughs.
E.F.I.:
Extra F*cking Insurance
FERRARI:
Fragile, Expensive Rides Repel All Reasonable Individuals
FIAT:
Failure in Automotive Technology;
Failed Italian Automotive Technology;
Feeble Italian Attempt (at) Transportation;
Fiasco In Automobile Technology;
Fix It Again Tony!;
Fixing It All the Time;
F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation.
FORD:
Fast Only Rolling Downhill;
First (or Fails) On Race Day;
First On Recall Day
Fix Or Repair Daily;
Found On a Road, Dead;
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's;
F**ked over rebuilt Dodge;
F**ker Only Runs Downhill;
F*cked on Race Day;
F*cking Over-Rated Disaster;
F*ckin' Out-Right Dangerous;
F*ckin Owner Real Dumb;
Funding Our Retirement Daily;
Driver Returning On Foot (Ford spelled backwards!)
MUSTANG:
Massivly Under Sized Tires And No Go;
Maybe, Under Serious Thought, Another No-Go;
Maybe, Under Serious Thought, Another Nice GTO;
Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good.
PINTO
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook;
Pushed In Neutral Too Often;
Put In New Transmission Often;
Put In Nickel To Operate.
GM:
General Mistake
Grungy Merchandise
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion;
Generally Mediocre Cars;
Gets More Chicks;
Got Mechanic Coming;
Got More Crap;
Greatest Made Chevy.
G.T.I.:
Got Tossers Inside
HOLDEN:
Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents, Engine Noises;
Heaps Of Loud Disgusting Engine Noises;
Horrible Old Lump of Decrepit Engineering Nonsense.
TORANA:
Tons Of Rust And No Acceleration;
SLR variant - Slightly Less Rust
*
HONDA:
Had One, Never Did Again;
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles;
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles;
Hand Over Dollars to Asians;
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating;
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything (else)!;
Has Only Normal, Dull Attributes;
Heck Of (a) Nice Ride Actually.;
Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile;
Helping Out Nips Destroying America;
History Of No Dramatic Acceleration;
Hold On, 'Nother Dickhead Arriving;
Hold Overs Not Doing Anything;
Honest Officer, Nobody Drank Anything!:
Horsepower Option Never Did Appear;
How Odd: No Darn Acceleration.
PRELUDE: Pistons Rattle, Engine Locks Up, Differential Explodes.
HUMMER:
Huge, Usually Male Member Enlarger Replacement
HYUNDAI:
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside;
Helping Young Unemployed Narcs Drive American Interstates;
Hope You Understand Nothing is Driveable And Inexpensive;
ISUZU:
It Sucks, Unless Zero Used.
JAGUAR:
Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs;
Jerks Are Giving Unasked Advice Regularly;
Jesus! Another Ghastly, Unbelievably Annoying Repair;
Jews And Germans Usually Argue Retail;
Junk Always Going Under At Repairshop;
Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair.
JEEP:
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts;
Jumping Each and Every Pothole;
Jumps Everything Ever Parked;
Jumps Excitedly Every Pothole;
Junk Eletrical and Emissions Parts;
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly;
Junks Everyone's Eyes for Parts;
Just Empty Every Pocket;
Just Eats Every Part/Pickle;
Just Enough Engine Power;
Just Expect Excessive Problems.
KIA:
Kick It Again/Around;
Keep It Away;
Kill It Anyway;
Killed In Action;
Kills Innocent Americans;
Korean Idiot's Attempt;
Korean Imitation Auto.
LAMBORHINI:
Less Able Men Buy Only Really Gaudy High-priced Italian Narcissism Implements
LAND ROVER:
Lame Americans Need Dumb, Really Oversized Vehicles, England Realized
LOTUS:
Loss Of Tyres, Usually Serious;
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.
MASERATI:
Mechanically Adept Souls Expect Repairs All Times, Indefinitely
MAZDA:
Made After Zero Design Analysis;
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually;
Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly;
Mostly Always Zipping Dangerously Along.
MIATA:
My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MERCEDES:
Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales;
Mechanically Excellent Real Cars Every Driver Envies Sight;
Money Envy Reliably Causes every Derogatory Expletive to Surface.
MG:
Major Goof;
Merciless Garbage;
Money Guzzler;
Mostly Garaged;
MGB: Might Go Backwards;
MGB: Might Go, But . . .;
MGB: Motor Going Bad;
MGF: Might Go Forwards.
MINI:
Metrosexual Idiots Need Instructions;
Moron Inside, Notably Insane.
MINIVAN:
Manhood Is Nonexistent, I'm Vasectomized And Neutered.
MITSUBISHI:
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents;
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside;
Mechanics Investigate Trouble, Some Understand, But It's Sure Had It;
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete;
Motor Is Tough, Sounds Unbelievably Bad, Intimidates Slow Hondas Incessantly.
MOPAR:
Many Odd Parts Assembled Ridiculously;
Many Odd Parts Assembled Randomly;
Many Other Parts Are Required;
Massive Over Powered And Respected;
Massively Over Powered And Respected;
Massively Over Powered Asphalt Remover;
Massively Over Powered And Rare;
Massivly Over Powered And Reliable;
Mechanics Offer Pinto As Replacement;
Mighty Over Powering Always Reliable;
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously;
Mitsubishi's Over-Priced American Replicars;
Monsterous Over Powered Approaching Road Runner;
More Often Parts Are Replaced;
More Old Parts and Rust;
More On Performance and Reliability;
Most Often Passed At Races;
Most Organized People Around Racing;
Most Over Priced Auto Restoration;
Mostly Old Parts/Paint And Rust;
Mostly Over Powered And Respected;
Motor On Pavement After Race;
Move Over, People/Professionals Are Racing;
Move Over People Are Racing;
Move Over Power Approaching Rapidly;
Move Over Pickup Approaching Rapidly;
Move Over, Plymouth Approaching Rapidly;
Move Over, Plymouths Are Racing
Must Own Pickup And Rope;
Mutilates Other Products At Races;
My Old Pig Ain't Running;
My Old Plymouth Always Runs;
My Old Plymouth Axes Rats;
My Only Problems Are Repairs;
My Own Personal Adrenaline Rush.
NAPA:
Never Any Parts Available.
NISSAN:
Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon;
Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now;
Never I Shall Steal Another Nissan;
Nothing Is So Sad As Nissan;
Now In Some Sh*tty Automobile Nightmare;
Now in Stupid Shape, Always Nasty.
OLDSMOBILE:
Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything;
Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Off Bridges Into Lake Erie!;
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday;
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel;
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment.
PLYMOUTH:
Please Let Your Mechanic/Mother Out Under The Hood!
Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, all Underestimating This Heap.
PONTIAC:
People On Narcotics Think It's A Cadillac;
Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car;
Poor Old Nitwits Thinks It's A Cadilliac;
Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities.
GTO:
Gas, Tires, Oil;
Generally Trashed Out;
Get The Others;
Get Tools Out;
Get To Onramp;
Good Time Out;
Good To Own;
Gone To Overdrive.
PORSCHE:
Proof Of Rich Spoilt Children Having Everything;
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine;
Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine;
Proudly Owned Real Sports Car, However, Expensive;
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough;
Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions.
RENAULT:
Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash
ROLLS-ROYCE:
Rich Old Lame Louts Still Run Over Your Childhood Expectations
SAAB:
Sad Attempt At Beauty;
Send Another Automobile Back;
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards;
Slow As A Brick/Buick;
Some Asshole Actually Bought (it);
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid;
Still Ain't A Beamer;
Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies;
Such an arrogant bastard!;
Swedish Automobiles, Always Broken/Breakdown;
Swedish Automobiles Are Best!
STP:
Stop Those Pistons!
SUBARU:
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair, Usually;
Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium;
U R A BUS (Backward)
SUZUKI:
Space Usually Zero Unless Kids Inside
TOYOTA:
Take Off Your Oversized Tires, Asshole;
Taking Our Yen Out, Thanks All;
Taking Our Yen Out Through Australia/America;
The One You Ought To Avoid;
They Overcharge You On Their Accessories;
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto;
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass;
Total Overhaul Yearly on Tojo's Anniversary.
TRIUMPH:
The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily;
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help;
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO:
Vacuous Owners Love Vehicular Oddities;
Vehicle Of Low Velocity Output;
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object;
Very Old Lazy Vehicle Owner;
Violation Of Law: Vehicular Obesity.
VW:
Very Weird;
Vintage Wreck;
Virtually Worthless.
VOLKSWAGEN:
Vehicle Owners - Losers Knowingly Suffering With All German Engineered Nonsense;
Very Ordinary Looking Krautwagons Saddled With Apathetic German Engineering Now.
BEETLE:
Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine.
RABBIT
Replace A Beetle? Boy It Tried.
these are by no means my personal opinions about the various car brands!
ACURA:
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment;
All Customers Undergo Repair Anxiety;
Americans/Australians Can Underestimate Routine Accidents;
Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym;
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile;
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles;
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America;
Awful, Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile;
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents.
ALFA:
Aging Latin ****wit's Ambulance.
ALFA ROMEO:
All Loosely Fitted Accessories Remain On Motorway Enraging Others.
AMC:
A Man's Car
A Major Cost
A Miss Conception
A Morons Car
A Mutated Car
All Makes Combined
All Most Car
All Muscle Car
Annoying Mechanics Constantly
Another Major Catastrophe
Automotive Mental Cruelty
ASTON MARTIN:
A Silly Toy Of Neurotic Middle Aged Rich Tossers Investing Needlessly;
Anglophiles Seek To Own, Now Many Are Really Trashy, I Notice.
AUDI:
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence;
Again Underestimating Deutsche Intelligence;
Aging, Unfulfilled Dentists' Investment;
All Unnecessary Devices Installed;
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence;
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented;
Always Useful Deutsche Investment;
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention;
Another Useless Deutsche Invention;
Attention: User Doesn't Indicate!;
Automobile Under Demonic Influence;
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BENTLEY:
British Excess Needs To Leave Everywhere, Yesterday
BMW:
Babbling Mechanical Wench;
Babe Magnet Wannabe/Wisher;
Bayrische Manure Wagon;
Bastard Money Wielders;
Beastly Monstrous Wonder;
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels;
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder;
Big Money Waste/Waster/Works;
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck;
Born Moderately Wealthy;
Bought My Wife;
Bowel Movement Wagon;
Break My Windows;
Brings Me Women;
Broke My Wallet;
Broken Money Waster;
Broken Monstrous Wonder;
Brutal Money Waster;
Bubbling Mechanical Wonder;
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch.
BUGATTI:
"Bangin' Underground Gangsta Attitude" Trumps Techy Image
BOW TIE:
Big, Over-Weight, Tired, Impotent Engines
BUICK:
Bearing Unimpressive I4s, Current as Kennedy;
Big, Ugly Import Car Killer;
Big, Ugly Indestructible Car Killer;
Big, Underpowered, Impressing China Keenly;
Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean.
CADILLAC:
Can American Designers Invent Lovely Lines? Apparently, Can't;
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars.
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips;
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips;
Cheap Heaps: Expect Very Routine Owner Letdowns, Excessive Trouble;
Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time.
CAMARO:
Can't America Make A Real One?
Can A Mechanic Actually Repair One??
Chevrolet Assembled Mustang And Repaired Often
Could Always Manufacture And Recall Often
CHEVY:
Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet.
CHRYSLER:
Can Hear Revs, Yet Sense Little Engine Reaction;
Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement;
Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs;
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair;
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
CITROEN:
Crap Interior, Terrible Road-holding, Owned Entirely by Nutters
DATSUN:
Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips.
DODGE:
Dad's Old Dead Garage Experiment;
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter;
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere;
Don't Over Drive Gutless Engines.
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere.
EDSEL:
Even Dad Says Edsel's Lame;
Every Day Something Else Leaks;
Every Day Some Engineer Laughs.
E.F.I.:
Extra F*cking Insurance
FERRARI:
Fragile, Expensive Rides Repel All Reasonable Individuals
FIAT:
Failure in Automotive Technology;
Failed Italian Automotive Technology;
Feeble Italian Attempt (at) Transportation;
Fiasco In Automobile Technology;
Fix It Again Tony!;
Fixing It All the Time;
F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation.
FORD:
Fast Only Rolling Downhill;
First (or Fails) On Race Day;
First On Recall Day
Fix Or Repair Daily;
Found On a Road, Dead;
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's;
F**ked over rebuilt Dodge;
F**ker Only Runs Downhill;
F*cked on Race Day;
F*cking Over-Rated Disaster;
F*ckin' Out-Right Dangerous;
F*ckin Owner Real Dumb;
Funding Our Retirement Daily;
Driver Returning On Foot (Ford spelled backwards!)
MUSTANG:
Massivly Under Sized Tires And No Go;
Maybe, Under Serious Thought, Another No-Go;
Maybe, Under Serious Thought, Another Nice GTO;
Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good.
PINTO
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook;
Pushed In Neutral Too Often;
Put In New Transmission Often;
Put In Nickel To Operate.
GM:
General Mistake
Grungy Merchandise
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion;
Generally Mediocre Cars;
Gets More Chicks;
Got Mechanic Coming;
Got More Crap;
Greatest Made Chevy.
G.T.I.:
Got Tossers Inside
HOLDEN:
Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents, Engine Noises;
Heaps Of Loud Disgusting Engine Noises;
Horrible Old Lump of Decrepit Engineering Nonsense.
TORANA:
Tons Of Rust And No Acceleration;
SLR variant - Slightly Less Rust
*
HONDA:
Had One, Never Did Again;
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles;
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles;
Hand Over Dollars to Asians;
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating;
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything (else)!;
Has Only Normal, Dull Attributes;
Heck Of (a) Nice Ride Actually.;
Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile;
Helping Out Nips Destroying America;
History Of No Dramatic Acceleration;
Hold On, 'Nother Dickhead Arriving;
Hold Overs Not Doing Anything;
Honest Officer, Nobody Drank Anything!:
Horsepower Option Never Did Appear;
How Odd: No Darn Acceleration.
PRELUDE: Pistons Rattle, Engine Locks Up, Differential Explodes.
HUMMER:
Huge, Usually Male Member Enlarger Replacement
HYUNDAI:
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside;
Helping Young Unemployed Narcs Drive American Interstates;
Hope You Understand Nothing is Driveable And Inexpensive;
ISUZU:
It Sucks, Unless Zero Used.
JAGUAR:
Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs;
Jerks Are Giving Unasked Advice Regularly;
Jesus! Another Ghastly, Unbelievably Annoying Repair;
Jews And Germans Usually Argue Retail;
Junk Always Going Under At Repairshop;
Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair.
JEEP:
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts;
Jumping Each and Every Pothole;
Jumps Everything Ever Parked;
Jumps Excitedly Every Pothole;
Junk Eletrical and Emissions Parts;
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly;
Junks Everyone's Eyes for Parts;
Just Empty Every Pocket;
Just Eats Every Part/Pickle;
Just Enough Engine Power;
Just Expect Excessive Problems.
KIA:
Kick It Again/Around;
Keep It Away;
Kill It Anyway;
Killed In Action;
Kills Innocent Americans;
Korean Idiot's Attempt;
Korean Imitation Auto.
LAMBORHINI:
Less Able Men Buy Only Really Gaudy High-priced Italian Narcissism Implements
LAND ROVER:
Lame Americans Need Dumb, Really Oversized Vehicles, England Realized
LOTUS:
Loss Of Tyres, Usually Serious;
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.
MASERATI:
Mechanically Adept Souls Expect Repairs All Times, Indefinitely
MAZDA:
Made After Zero Design Analysis;
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually;
Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly;
Mostly Always Zipping Dangerously Along.
MIATA:
My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MERCEDES:
Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales;
Mechanically Excellent Real Cars Every Driver Envies Sight;
Money Envy Reliably Causes every Derogatory Expletive to Surface.
MG:
Major Goof;
Merciless Garbage;
Money Guzzler;
Mostly Garaged;
MGB: Might Go Backwards;
MGB: Might Go, But . . .;
MGB: Motor Going Bad;
MGF: Might Go Forwards.
MINI:
Metrosexual Idiots Need Instructions;
Moron Inside, Notably Insane.
MINIVAN:
Manhood Is Nonexistent, I'm Vasectomized And Neutered.
MITSUBISHI:
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents;
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside;
Mechanics Investigate Trouble, Some Understand, But It's Sure Had It;
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete;
Motor Is Tough, Sounds Unbelievably Bad, Intimidates Slow Hondas Incessantly.
MOPAR:
Many Odd Parts Assembled Ridiculously;
Many Odd Parts Assembled Randomly;
Many Other Parts Are Required;
Massive Over Powered And Respected;
Massively Over Powered And Respected;
Massively Over Powered Asphalt Remover;
Massively Over Powered And Rare;
Massivly Over Powered And Reliable;
Mechanics Offer Pinto As Replacement;
Mighty Over Powering Always Reliable;
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously;
Mitsubishi's Over-Priced American Replicars;
Monsterous Over Powered Approaching Road Runner;
More Often Parts Are Replaced;
More Old Parts and Rust;
More On Performance and Reliability;
Most Often Passed At Races;
Most Organized People Around Racing;
Most Over Priced Auto Restoration;
Mostly Old Parts/Paint And Rust;
Mostly Over Powered And Respected;
Motor On Pavement After Race;
Move Over, People/Professionals Are Racing;
Move Over People Are Racing;
Move Over Power Approaching Rapidly;
Move Over Pickup Approaching Rapidly;
Move Over, Plymouth Approaching Rapidly;
Move Over, Plymouths Are Racing
Must Own Pickup And Rope;
Mutilates Other Products At Races;
My Old Pig Ain't Running;
My Old Plymouth Always Runs;
My Old Plymouth Axes Rats;
My Only Problems Are Repairs;
My Own Personal Adrenaline Rush.
NAPA:
Never Any Parts Available.
NISSAN:
Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon;
Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now;
Never I Shall Steal Another Nissan;
Nothing Is So Sad As Nissan;
Now In Some Sh*tty Automobile Nightmare;
Now in Stupid Shape, Always Nasty.
OLDSMOBILE:
Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything;
Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Off Bridges Into Lake Erie!;
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday;
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel;
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment.
PLYMOUTH:
Please Let Your Mechanic/Mother Out Under The Hood!
Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, all Underestimating This Heap.
PONTIAC:
People On Narcotics Think It's A Cadillac;
Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car;
Poor Old Nitwits Thinks It's A Cadilliac;
Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities.
GTO:
Gas, Tires, Oil;
Generally Trashed Out;
Get The Others;
Get Tools Out;
Get To Onramp;
Good Time Out;
Good To Own;
Gone To Overdrive.
PORSCHE:
Proof Of Rich Spoilt Children Having Everything;
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine;
Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine;
Proudly Owned Real Sports Car, However, Expensive;
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough;
Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions.
RENAULT:
Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash
ROLLS-ROYCE:
Rich Old Lame Louts Still Run Over Your Childhood Expectations
SAAB:
Sad Attempt At Beauty;
Send Another Automobile Back;
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards;
Slow As A Brick/Buick;
Some Asshole Actually Bought (it);
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid;
Still Ain't A Beamer;
Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies;
Such an arrogant bastard!;
Swedish Automobiles, Always Broken/Breakdown;
Swedish Automobiles Are Best!
STP:
Stop Those Pistons!
SUBARU:
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair, Usually;
Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium;
U R A BUS (Backward)
SUZUKI:
Space Usually Zero Unless Kids Inside
TOYOTA:
Take Off Your Oversized Tires, Asshole;
Taking Our Yen Out, Thanks All;
Taking Our Yen Out Through Australia/America;
The One You Ought To Avoid;
They Overcharge You On Their Accessories;
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto;
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass;
Total Overhaul Yearly on Tojo's Anniversary.
TRIUMPH:
The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily;
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help;
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO:
Vacuous Owners Love Vehicular Oddities;
Vehicle Of Low Velocity Output;
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object;
Very Old Lazy Vehicle Owner;
Violation Of Law: Vehicular Obesity.
VW:
Very Weird;
Vintage Wreck;
Virtually Worthless.
VOLKSWAGEN:
Vehicle Owners - Losers Knowingly Suffering With All German Engineered Nonsense;
Very Ordinary Looking Krautwagons Saddled With Apathetic German Engineering Now.
BEETLE:
Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine.
RABBIT
Replace A Beetle? Boy It Tried.