The Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you!"

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on, began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard "Jesus is watching you!". Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the foice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

"Yep" the parrot confessed, the squeaked "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses" replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus".

Lol, I love it! I heard it told a litte different, I'll use the same beginning...:


A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you!"

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on, began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard "I see you! and Jesus sees you too!". Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"I see you! and Jesus sees you too!" the parrot said again.

He tip-toed quickly over to the cage to try and shut the parrot up, but when he got close, he heard a deep growl ... he froze again, and his light fell to the ground. lying under the cage was a huge rottweiler!

The parrot then said "Sic him Jesus!" and the Burglar hightailed it out!


I think I told it all wrong ... oh well ... "That's my story, and I'm sticken to it!"