Revenge Of The Banana Tree

REVENGE OF THE BANANA TREE
Written April 3, 2003 Fiction 1166 Words.
Copyright ©2003 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved.

By

Robert P. Herbst

In order to understand the full story here, one must look back on the reason why things happen. The banana tree is very much like grass or bamboo in the way the plant grows. Grassy type plants usually spread by both seed and root rhizomes. An established banana tree can put up multiple plants simply be dividing the root, or once a year over a period of about thirty days the plant can produce hundreds of seeds. We know these seeds as the delectable fruit called bananas.
The banana tree is a living thing. The tree is born when a banana ripens, the seeds mature and fall from the parent tree. They then take root in the soil and grow. This would not happen unless the parent banana tree wanted to reproduce, or thought it was about to die. Imminent death is a strong motivator to reproduce in all living species.
Once a year the banana tree forms a large spike. The spike is so heavy the spike bends from the top of the banana tree and points to the ground. Once bent the plant grows a ring of flowers around the bent stem. Bees come by and pollinate these little flowers as the stem grows longer and more flowers appear in other progressive rings on down the bent stem. The plant seems to make one ring of flowers each day. Once pollinated, each ring of flowers begins to become bananas.
Recently a friend of mine in Alaska related a sad story about a banana tree in the local botanical garden near her home. This was a single banana tree in living in a glass house. Outside this glass house was the freezing cold of Alaska. Naturally there were many other plants and trees also living in the glass house, none of whom were native of Alaska, but brought in from all over the world.
As they all came from different places, there was no way the plants and trees could talk to each other the way they would if they were back living in their native land. This made the banana tree very lonely, as were all the others. In an effort to correct this situation the banana tree fruited at regular intervals attempting to make more banana trees for companionship.
Even in the frigid wilds of Alaska the banana tree set a stem and made flowers as if in the tropics where the tree was born. Local bees pollinated the flowers and the banana tree began to make bananas. Over the years the banana tree had grown large and healthy, but was desperately lonely so each year the tree set lots of flowers and grew hundreds of bananas.
Each year at a given time the bananas on the banana tree would ripen, burst from their peels and try desperately to get to the ground to grow new banana trees. Unfortunately, the manager of this botanical garden couldn’t handle more than one banana tree with his heated and suitable space being limited to the one glass house.
So every year when the bananas began to ripen, the manager would call the local school and tell them to send up the little kiddies for their annual treat, the bananas were about to ripen.
Naturally, every little kid in the whole school wanted a banana fresh from the banana tree. They flocked to the botanical garden with dishes in their grubby little hands intent on catching a bananas as they fell to the ground, heaping ice cream and garnished on them and eating their treats right there under the banana tree.
Right on schedule, the ripened bananas burst from their peels and headed for the ground, each one intent on taking root and becoming another banana tree. The parent banana tree fairly burst with pride as the young banana seeds fell from the stem.
The little children, all of whom were intend on being the first to have a banana split, rushed forward trampling any little banana that had landed on the ground and catching the other bananas in their dishes. As they clamored to catch the fruit in their dishes, they crushed and new banana trees trying to spring up from the roots.
Then without regard to how this looked to the mother banana tree, the children sat about in the botanical garden and ate the banana tree’s babies. Can you just imagine how terrible and hurt the banana tree was to have to watch this gruesome skeptical each and every year. Gradually this warped the banana tree’s mind. The began to experience waves of intense hatred toward the banana eating children.
Not too many years later the banana tree figured out, this was a no win situation for a banana tree. Unfortunately, the mother banana tree was all alone in a glass house full of strangers. What could a poor lone and grieving banana tree do?
One night as the banana tree thumped a root on a bit of nearby pavement, the lonely tree realized the other plants nearby, were also thumping their roots. Trees and plants all over the glass house were thumping quietly on any nearby bit of pavement.
In time the trees and plants developed a language of their own. As soon as the caretaker left the building for the night, the thumping began. A plot was hatched amongst the various vegetive species for a mass revolt and escape from their confinement.
They waited patiently for the Alaskan summer so they would not have to face the cold outside the building. Now, as summer grew near the trees and plants began to exercise their roots for the long trek South. One root at a time, they wrenched their roots from the ground and practiced walking on them.
On the warmest day of the summer, the entire population of the glass house burst forth into the cool Alaskan summer and headed South as fast as their roots could carry them.
Only the banana tree remained behind, with thoughts of unreasoning hatred and revenge in its heart. Those nasty little rug rats had eaten the trees children, right there in plain sight. Now was the time to exact a gruesome revenge on the nasty little beasts.
One by one, the banana tree stalked the children and when catching them alone, covered them in ice cream and ate them with a great deal of lip smacking and belching. Sadly, the banana tree had never learned any table manners.
You might want to think about this the next time you reach for a hand of bananas at the super market. You might just look around to make sure there isn’t a banana tree watching you. If you should happen to see one, race to the store manager and report that you have seen a live banana tree in his store, stalking you.