How to play “Scare the Telemarketer”

[Lagu]

Hi, again a new joke. Enjoy.

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with "Is this William Wagenhoss?", not sounding anything like my name. So I said "Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that, then I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he calling this number.

I then said off to the side "get really good pictures of the body and all the blood", then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shakey voice. I then told him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody.

At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away. My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.

My meal was cold, but after what I had pulled, very enjoyable!!

Lagu

[vaughan]

I keep a whistle next to the phone and when they try their bs on me I give them a blast.

[NeoGen]

That is so mean!

[Lagu]

Hi

I have no problems with these guys because I’m deaf they never got an answer. They are coming to a telephone with a different sound than what are common and get confused. Another thing is they fail to contact me because they not got an answer if they call me direct. They must have a third person as “Interpreter” as call me and then write on a monitor (as I can read) what they are saying.

Lagu

[PcManiac]

Awesome story Lagu! I fight with telemarketers all day it seems like! That whistle seems like a good idea! haha!

[vaughan]

I have completed the "opt-out" section of the Australian Direct Marketing Association; I have asked both politely and more recently impolitely to be removed from their call lists; I have tried the Seinfeld line of asking for their number (always shows as Private on Caller ID) so I can call them back whilst they are in the middle of their evening meal; I have asked to speak to their supervisor so I could explain I don't want to be pestered. Nothing has worked until the whistle.

I find if you talk quietly to them I imagine they are wearing a telephone headset and are straining to hear you. Then I give a blast and tell them to get lost and hang up before they can respond. Usually I won't pickup if Caller ID shows "unavailable" as its bound to be a telemarketer from India pretending to be calling from Australia. Also if it shows "private" it is usually someone with a secret so I call screen them on the answering machine.

Occasionally I still get caught out by the scumbags then I resort to my whistle. :shock:

[Ototero]

I like that Vaughan.

I'm Ex-directory here. My number is not published, I only get the occasional wrong number.

[drezha]

At home, we're ex directory.

but we still ge tthe odd telemarket calls...

but we nailed a comapny once because they rang, we asked how they got the number...
"randomly dialled" they said. Which in the UK is illegal! :D

(Believe it illegal for any companies like this that ring, if they ring they have to have lists of the numbers they ring. They cant just dial 111111, then 111112 etc)