Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:
40-ish ............ ......... ... 49.
Adventurous ............ .. Slept with everyone.
Athletic ............ ......... . No breasts
Average looking .......... Moooo.
Beautiful ............ ........ Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure ... On medication.
Feminist ............ ........ Fat
Free spirit ............ ...... Junkie
Friendship first .......... Former slut.
New-Age ........... Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs.
Open-minded ............ . Desperate
Outgoing ............ ....... Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional ............ .. Bitch
Voluptuous ............ .... Very Fat
Huge frame ............ ... Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ....... Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think
about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay
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