Intel i7 versus Monty Python

[Ototero]

Seen on http://www.theinquirer.net/gb/inquir...op-world-intel

Credit to : Beggar Me, 03 November 2008

Beggar Me: Never mind that I wish to complain about this QX6700 what I purchased.

Intel: Oh yes, the, uh, the Kentsfield... What's,uh... What's wrong with it?

Beggar Me: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Intel: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Beggar Me: Look, matey, I know a dead QX6700 when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Intel: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable Chip, the Kentsfield, idn'it, ay? Beautiful FSB!

Beggar Me: The FSB don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Intel: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Beggar Me: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the socket) 'Ello, Mister Processor QX6700! I've got a lovely fresh Triple Channel DDR3s for you if you show...

(Intel hits the socket)
Intel: There, he moved!

Beggar Me: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the socket!

Intel: I never!!

Beggar Me: Yes, you did!

Intel: I never, never did anything...

Beggar Me: (yelling and hitting the socket repeatedly) 'ELLO Processor!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your 1366 o'clock alarm call!
(Takes QX6700 out of the socket and thumps its IHS on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Beggar Me: Now that's what I call a dead QX6700.

Intel: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Beggar Me: STUNNED?!?

Intel: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Kentsfields stun easily, major.

Beggar Me: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That QX6700 is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged overclock.

Intel: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the Netburst.

Beggar Me: PININ' for the Netburst?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Intel: The Kentsfield prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable Chip, id'nit, squire? Lovely FSB!

Beggar Me: Look, I took the liberty of examining that QX6700 when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its Mainboard in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)

Intel: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that Chip down, it would have nuzzled up to that heatsink, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Beggar Me: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this Chip wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Intel: No no! 'E's pining!

Beggar Me: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This QX6700 is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the Mainboard 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is Quad Core processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-QX6700!!
(pause)

Intel: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of QX6700s.

Beggar Me: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Intel: I got a slug.

Beggar Me: Well shoot it man!

[NeoGen]

Knowing a bit of Monty Python myself, I can imagine that scene and it would be hilarious on stage.