Part 1: Ranting Hardware
Me: We're at the beginning of the monthly Simap challenge and I am interviewing some of the contenders and members of the audience. You sir, you don't look happy, why?
Harris 286-20: They wouldn't wanna have me! Too old they said! Can't run a decent OS! Your mobo only supports 1 Mb of RAM! Your not fast enough... 1Mb was enough in my days, sonny, I was the second fastest 286 of all time, only my brother Harris-25 could beat me, and I even have an old Intel 287 friend of mine on my mobo. Sons of b&*^%es....
Me : Sorry to hear that pops, but you have a nice seat so have pleasure watching. I go on to an other oldster with a slightly happier expression, You sir can you tell us who you are?
AMD 386-40 I son am the fastest 386 without fancy tricks, and I am collecting other hardware to be able to run.
Me: So you're not expecting problems like Mr. Harris?
AMD 386-40: No, I can run Windows 95 or Linux, that's enough for a BOINC client.
Me: No memory problems either?
AMD 386-40: Eight sticks of four Mb each, that's 32 Mb, how much more do you want?
Me: My cell phone has more memory, sir!
AMD 386-40: It's all them fancy graphics that eat too much memory, now in my days....
Me: Sorry, I have to go on, who is this? You look like a 486 to me?
IBM 486sLC2-50: Fooled you! I am actually a 386SX2-50!
Me: So you are faster than the 386DX-40?
IBM 486sLC2-50: Marginally, but my brothers 486DLC2-50 and 486SLC3-75 are the fastest 386's of all time.
Me: But they are not here?
IBM 486sLC2-50: Nope, have to do it all by myself, 386-wise, management does not support me, all goes to the newer guys, they don't even know me anymore nowadays at Lenovo...
Me: Success! I go on! You sir look exactly like mr 486SLC2, how's that?
AMD 486DX5-133: Upgrading can do that to you son, plus a hardware company that uses the same casing for various models.
Me: Looks sturdy IBM quality to me.
AMD 486DX5-133: Yep, I started out as a 486DX-2 66, but my owner exchanged the original CPU for me
Me: Enough RAM?
AMD 486DX5-133: 64 Mb and an original 1 Mb IBM XGA card! I can run OS/2, Windows98, Windows NT, Windows 2000 and Linux.
Me: Impressive! I go on, there's a rather modern looking case, who are you?
AMD K6III-400: I am the second best CPU that ever went into a socket 7 board!
Me: And what happened to the fastest?
AMD K6III-400: Unavailable at the moment.
Me: Too bad. Do you think you can stand up to the other competitors?
AMD K6 III-400: Why not? It's a CPU contest, isn't it?
Me: Yes, but there is quite some competition, look at that big guy left of you for example, who are you sir?
Pentium Pro 200: I man, I am a Pentium Pro 200.
Me: You look not like Pentium Pro's I know, they're all shiny and golden, and you are..
Pentium Pro 200: Black, yes, say it.
Me: Rather dark, yeah..
Pentium Pro 200: It's because of the aluminium heat spreader instead of the fancy gold ones.
Me: Aha, never knew that. Do you think you can perform?
Pentium Pro 200: I don't know, my hardware is pretty hard to get at the moment, but when it's up and running I can do any good 32-bit OS.
Me: Won't the 200 Mhz be a bottleneck?
Pentium Pro 200: We'll see, if so my nephews might be better suited for the challenge.
Me: Holy chips! And I thought you were big! Sirs who are you?
Dual Xeon-III 700: We are a pair of Xeon-III 700s.
Me: Oh I see, it is stamped on your casing..
Dual Xeon-III 700: Black, like our nephew and our cousins over there.
Me: Family reunion?
Dual Xeon-III 700: We are just watching, we are not allowed to compete, too hungry (points at two power cables protruding from its casing), but our cousins run.
Me: I'll go and speak them! Sirs, who are you?
Pentium III 550: We are slotted Pentium II and IIIs
Me: Quite a bunch of you here, will you all compete?
Pentium III 550: No. we're looking for the best combination of hardware, have to try and finish before the AMD K6 III otherwise the family will make us an offer..
Me: Can't refuse such an offer, can you?
Pentium III 550: But we have a family member who will beat the K6 III!
Me: Who, tell me?
Pentium III 550: It's Pentium III Tualatin over there!
Me: Thanks, I'll go and speak to him! Sir, you seem a pretty beefed up P3 to me.
Pentium III-1133 Tualatin: I sure am, my brother Pentium III-1400 even kicked the s#$%t out of the next generation, those stupid P4's!
Me: You do not seem to like them?
Pentium III-1133 Tualatin: They are bad architecture man, and power-hungry as well..
Me: Any AMD competitor you fear?
Pentium III-1133 Tualatin: Them Athlon guys, it took our family the trick to combine Xeon architecture with the original P III to produce us Tualatins, and we could take on the original Athlons, but later Athlon XPs still kicked the living daylight out of the P4's, especially them with the socket 423, what a loosers those were....
Me: Now you mention it, don't see those around. I go on. First we have a commercial break though.
The ultimate 286 chip:
One of the FPUs that was able to keep up with the Harris-25 (FPU ran at 2/3 of the speed of the CPU on most 286 boards, or, if you were lucky, independent)
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Originally Posted by Dirk Broer
